“Excuse me?” he said, evidently caught off guard by my question. “Yeah, when does it get easier?” Or should I ask, does it get easier?” I said sort of backpedaling a bit. Had I been the first one to ask him this question?
This kind man had approached me while we waited for our food during our recent trip to Disneyland and we were chatting quite a bit about life with twin boys. His boys were now 12 years old, but they also had two daughters, one that was three years older and another that was about five years younger than his boys. He was very honest, insightful and rather encouraging. He pretty much said that since our boys are only two years old, we could expect to have our hands full for a solid ten more years. Yes, TEN YEARS. He made me laugh because he said that twin boys were tough because boys are just something else and love to get into things and do dumb stuff. He stopped and sort of chuckled to himself, as if reminiscing on what those days were like for them, and said my husband was probably going to go nuts, but to remember that this time passes so fast.
When my husband came back with our food I told him what I had asked this fellow dad and he let out a sarcastic laugh and told the man that I ask every twin parent with an older set that question. And it’s true, I do.
I wanted to know if we were ever going to get to a point where it felt like parenthood was fun, but naturally challenging because we have two kids versus the “oh my God we have two of the same age and it is so.darn.hard” feeling.
As our day wrapped up and we finished our dinner in Downtown Disney before heading home, a family with two baby twin girls sat directly behind our table and kept looking over at our boys (who were of course shoving big pieces of pizza in their mouths while watching Hercules on my phone). As we got up to leave, we exchanged smiles and nods with the fellow twin parents and asked each other how old the sets were. Their baby girls were nine months old, sitting calmly in their parents’ laps, and the mom looks up at me with big hopeful eyes and asked if it gets easier once they start walking. It took everything in me not to start busting up uncontrollably. Instead I smiled and told her that at every stage some things get easier and some new challenges will inevitably come up with every developmental milestone. I chuckled and told her that they would be kept busy running in opposite directions after them soon enough, but that it would be fun and to enjoy it. I also wanted to be positive and encouraging with them. Being a twin parent is hard enough, so there’s no need to scare the more rookie ones any further.
On our drive home I realized that I had answered my own question. Things do get easier at every new step in their growth and development, and then other things get harder that weren’t difficult before…times two! However, as the wise twin dad told us, “I guess God only gives us what He knows we can handle.” I’m blessed to have two happy, healthy, and energetic boys and there’s not a day or second I take that for granted.